Hit reload to see the animated comic again.

So, like, I lost my job at "Nassiri" here in Las Vegas like over a month ago. Since then my Grandfather's died, iRev has been merged into Jeremiah's and Joe's "DualCPUs.com" server, Sarah's lost her job, and I started working freelance. So, uh, yeah. Whatever.

As part of my new freelancing job, I am now a contractor for the Venetian Casino/Hotel's Showroom and nightclub, re-doing their websites, servers, and network. Things like re-writing the software that sells tickets to "Melinda" the magic bitch, "Bravo" with Charo, and the nightclub "C2K". Upgrading their MS SQL Server with like 6 gigs of data from an old K6 with 64 megs of ram. Swapping out the half-dozen 10-base-T hubs with one master 100meg switch. Dumping 3 NT servers out and dropping one FreeBSD server in their place. All that shit. Thats the day job. I mean, all you guys who wanted to do tech at yer high school's theatre, I got yer dream job: Cruizing around the basement & backstage, playing with the Magic Bitch's props, futzing with the lights over the stage, networking Charo's laptop to the LAN... You know, day job stuff. But, heh, at night....

This past week the Venetian and showroom played host to the Consumer Electronics Show and to the Adult Entertainment Expo. And since you all know my affinity to working with pr0n, its no wonder I managed to finagle myself into the "Adult Entertainment Industry Charity Auction" event at C2K. :) I was just sitting, IRCing and looking busy there in the cramped server room when the marketing director chick runs in with a 200-pixel gif and says "We need this image on the board in a half hour!" The board is this massive 20-foot by 15-foot screen that hangs over the stage in the Venetian showroom. And they want a 200-pixel wide gif thrown up on it. And they asked me. Like, as if there wasn't a dozen people in the production room who couldn't do it, right? No, see, the Venetian guys fired most of 'em all, so since I can type fast, obviously I can do graphic miracles. For the fucking Venetian Hotel. With a 200 pixel gif on a 25-foot board. Heh, well, shit, its a challenge, right? Plus, any reason to play with Gimp is good by me. I re-draw the logo completely at like 1024 and drop it onto the floppy. Freaking re-did the logo, and its sweet as honey. Granted, the logo involved a half-nekkid pr0n chickie, so I wanted to take my time with it...

I've never been in the video production room. In fact, the video-capture card in my PC scares me, so a full on TV production room... Well, shit right? What could they do? Fire me? I stride into the room and there's this chick and this dude in there. And like I know what I'm doing, which I don't, I walk up to this console with like a zillion blinking lights and find a floppy drive in there somewhere. Shove the shit in, and I start pounding buttons and keys like I designed the production console board thing myself. The dude is just lookin at me, and I'm all "sup?" After fumbling for a few minutes, I throw this lever.. (A Fucking LEVER! like the shit the dude in the DeathStar pulls to fire the damn cannon! I WANT THIS ON MY PC KEYBOARD!) and my image shows up on the screen over the stage.. and I die. I mean, FUCK YEAH! I 0wned that b1tch!

The dude's all "Nice" and I'm all "Yeah, I dunno what I'm doing. What is this thing, anyways?" and the chick's like "who are you again?"

We all get to talkin' and the chick turns out to be the camera woman who's going to go down on-stage and wander around with the porta-cam. And the dude is this free-lance contractor guy who controls the remote-control cameras and throws the 4 camera feeds up onto the various plasma screens and big-ass screen in the Venetian showroom. Director, Producer, TV guy. Its like 6pm and we're chatting away about streaming video, pr0n, and the differences between an "Avid" video workstation vs a "Media 100" video workstation (like I know what the HELL that shit is...), and the dude's all suddenly, "We're on. Man these two camera's, kay?"

And I die again. "WHAT?! Dude, haven't you figured out I'm a fucking fake? I dunno what the hell to do with all that!" pointing at the 10-foot long switchboard with like all the lights and knobs and shit. He's all "Ever do RC Cars?" and I'm like, "uh, yeah..." and he's all "yer good to go then." Brainlock. He shows me where the two cameras are in the venue and how to work the little knob/dial thingie to make them go. And thats what I did... There's like 500 people in the venue and on-stage walks Jenna Jameson and I'm sitting up in the control room swinging these cameras around following her and stuff. And the camera-chick's on stage with her cam, and the director-dude is manning one other remote cam and switching between the 4 cams to display the goods up on all the screens. AND FOR FUCKS SAKE! I'm RUNNING the other two DAMNED CAMERAS!

So, I'm trying to be all pro, and the dude's all "follow the blondie, roll your focus, fly in on the ugly dude", and on stage the pr0n chicks and dudes are auctioning off pr0n stuff for charity.

For instance:

Up for bid - A scene with Jenna Jameson in her next porn movie. Specifically, a sex scene with her. And depending upon how shy the winning bidder is, it can be full-frontal nudity, or just shot chest-down on the dude. Bidding started at $1,000. It rocketed to $2,100 after this one dude in the back and the auctioneer guy agreed that there could be "Two Takes."

Up for bid - 100 pr0n DVDs. Opening bid: $100. It finally hit $1,200 after the auctioneer agreed to have the the DVD's all signed by some of the 'artists'.

 
 
Yeah, so I missed "Friends" on TV that night. Its tough here in Vegas.